| Aristophanes Index |
PITHETAERUS
You talk rubbish! Hermes is a god and has wings and flies, and
so do many other gods. First of all, Victory flies with golden
wings, Eros is undoubtedly winged too, and Iris is compared by Homer
to a timorous dove.
EUELPIDES
But will not Zeus thunder and send his winged bolts against us?
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
If men in their blindness do not recognize us as gods and so
continue to worship the dwellers in Olympus?
PITHETAERUS
Then a cloud of sparrows greedy for corn must descend upon their
fields and eat up all their seeds; we shall see then if Demeter will
mete them out any wheat.
EUELPIDES
By Zeus, she'll take good care she does not, and you will see
her inventing a thousand excuses.
PITHETAERUS
The crows too will prove your divinity to them by pecking out
the eyes of their flocks and of their draught-oxen; and then let
Apollo cure them, since he is a physician and is paid for the purpose.
EUELPIDES
Oh! don't do that! Wait first until I have sold my two young
bullocks.
PITHETAERUS
If on the other hand they recognize that you are God, the
principle of life, that. you are Earth, Saturn, Posidon, they shall be
loaded with benefits.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Name me one of these then.
PITHETAERUS
Firstly, the locusts shall not eat up their vine-blossoms; a
legion of owls and kestrels will devour them. Moreover, the gnats
and the gallbugs shall no longer ravage the figs; a flock of
thrushes shall swallow the whole host down to the very last.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
And how shall we give wealth to mankind? This is their strongest
passion.
PITHETAERUS
When they consult the omens, you will point them to the richest
mines, you will reveal the paying ventures to the diviner, and not
another shipwreck will happen or sailor perish.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
No more shall perish? How is that?
PITHETAERUS
When the auguries are examined before starting on a voyage, some
bird will not fail to say, "Don't start! there will be a storm," or
else, "Go! you will make a most profitable venture."
EUELPIDES
I shall buy a trading-vessel and go to sea, I will not stay with
you.
PITHETAERUS
You will discover treasures to them, which were buried in former
times, for you know them. Do not all men say, "None knows where my
treasure lies, unless perchance it be some bird."
EUELPIDES
I shall sell my boat and buy a spade to unearth the vessels.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
And how are we to give them health, which belongs to the gods?
PITHETAERUS
If they are happy, is not that the chief thing towards health? The
miserable man is never well.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Old Age also dwells in Olympus. How will they get at it? Must they
die in early youth?
PITHETAERUS
Why, the birds, by Zeus, will add three hundred years to their
life.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
From whom will they take them?
PITHETAERUS
From whom? Why, from themselves. Don't you know the cawing crow
lives five times as long as a man?
EUELPIDES
Ah! ah! these are far better kings for us than Zeus!
PITHETAERUS (solemnly)
Far better, are they not? And firstly, we shall not have to
build them temples of hewn stone, closed with gates of gold; they will
dwell amongst the bushes and in the thickets of green oak; the most
venerated of birds will have no other temple than the foliage of the
olive tree; we shall not go to Delphi or to Ammon to sacrifice; but
standing erect in the midst of arbutus and wild olives and holding
forth our hands filled with wheat and barley, we shall pray them to
admit us to a share of the blessings they enjoy and shall at once
obtain them for a few grains of wheat.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Old man, whom I detested, you are now to me the dearest of all;
never shall I, if I can help it, fail to follow your advice.
CHORUS(singing)
Inspirited by your words, I threaten my rivals the gods, and I
swear that if you march in alliance with me against the gods and are
faithful to our just, loyal and sacred bond, we shall soon have
shattered their sceptre,
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
We shall charge ourselves with the performance of everything
that requires force; that which demands thought and deliberation shall
be yours to supply.
EPOPS
By Zeus! it's no longer the time to delay and loiter like
Nicias; let us act as promptly as possible.... In the first place,
come, enter my nest built of brushwood and blades of straw, and tell
me your names.
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